It’s all coming at once. College started yesterday. I leave for Norway in four days.

I started working last week. My boss apparently said she didn’t need me this week. I babysit her baby and he is unfortunately too clingy with his mother. I later learned that she told my mother she was letting other people babysit the child, in order to see the issue isn’t with me. I needed the money this week.

If I am going to be fired, I should’ve at least be given a warning.

I already have been hired someplace else; two months after I submitted the application. I wasn’t going to go to the group interview, as I was in a very PMS mood. I disliked everyone I saw due to my competitive nature and felt annoyed. They said they wanted someone outgoing and cooperative. They divided us into groups to play with blocks. The workers kept making eye contact with me. I thought I was failing the interview due to my shyness and lack of preparation (this was actually the interview I least prepared for). There were other people more prepared and outgoing. I saw the manager individually and she liked my availability. She said she would call me. I was called in a couple of days.

She said she was considering me for the position. I jumped and screamed, “I GOT THE JOB! I GOT THE JOB!”

I will be in Europe for the next two weeks, so I hope the background check takes longer.

(And YAY; no more crying baby and poop diapers. I am grateful for the short-lasted job though.)

And college!

Will I pass my courses? I am very determined to get a career. I did try my senior year. I believe I can.

I did have online school (or homeschool really) as a Sophomore. At the beginning I was very motivated, but then over the months finishing all my work in one day became overwhelming. I got lazy, stopped doing my work, and ended the year with all Fs. It was the dilemma of being at home all day every day with only my walls to accompany me. I was too shy to contact my teachers…Well, I was not doing well mentally either. I think I am in a better place than where I was at 16.

All my college courses this semester will be online because I’m going to Europe for two weeks and can’t afford to miss that much time from campus classes. It’ll be a bad start. I did want campus classes! Yet there’s also that fear of a new campus and people my age…

Well, anyway, online college is hard. This is not like high school. The college level language is more mature and difficult. I have to read and read and read and write. I have to read forty-one pages more of my psychology textbook, read two chapters of my archaeology book, read seven archaeology articles, read a long boring article about Darwin and Freud (with no pictures sadly), take quizzes, participate in forums…Welcome to college! My eyes are burning. Psychology is interesting though. All about the cognitive and the behavioral and physiology…I have to do all this in one to two weeks! While my sister attends her black metal festival in Norway, I’ll be doing college work in the hotel room at night.

And I can’t drive yet! I’ve been too scared of it. My college is forty-five minutes away, so I must at least pass my written exam.

And there’s Finland…Finland is very expensive. I hope I can survive on six hundred bucks or so. It’s only six days. We’re going to mostly walk. There will be some groceries, a visit to a restaurant, a bus trip, a ferry trip to Suomenlinna, a book, hopefully a vinyl copy of A Beard of Stars, souvenirs, and God knows what else!

I’ve been so happy and excited making me itinerary! I’ve written down all the places I can go, how far they are, and how much they would cost (if they do).

Ah, I do remember being thirteen and staring at a book spread of an image of the Helsinki market square with the cathedral behind it. I stared at it long enough to imagine myself walking there. It felt like an eternity to wait for this trip…and now it is finally happening!

There are so many beautiful parks I want to visit! I can’t wait to visit the Sibelius statue and see his giant mustache.

The Temppeliaukio church…

And there’s the beautiful Suomenlinna…a fortress that looks as if it were inhabited by hobbits.

My feet and legs will hurt so much when I come back from this trip. I’m also going to be hiking in Norway.

Norway…Norway. My sister is forcing me to go to Norway because her favorite band will be at some black metal festival. I will stay at the hotel at night mostly. What will I do? My sister did tell me they showed a Pola Negri movie in a classic movie channel on TV. I could also read Ulysses even though it is god-awful boring to read. Why did I force my sister to buy me that thing? Now she is forcing me to read it.

Why did I sign up to archaeology? I am not a sciency person and have trouble understanding the business with the dating of rocks and fossils. Hell, at least it gives me college credit.

I do like psychology…

Thankfully, my books were cheaper on places like Amazon and Ebay.

And transportation will be free in Helsinki if I buy the Helsinki card! I will be there six days and the maximum time for the card to be used is 72 hours…I can go to many museums and Seurasaari and Suomenlinna in three days!

At least I have made some good money from babysitting. Darling child never stopped crying..

By God, I need luggage! [BREATHE] I already got some.

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Ah, growing up.

I have just read an email from my archaeology teacher being strict on deadlines the first two weeks or a student will be dropped immediately. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Well, that’s not all. That’s not all! I’ve been sick! I ate a wheat bread with hot dog when I was babysitting the other day with a bunch of ketchup on it. I ate it so fast and wound up with a weird gas feeling on my chest that wouldn’t let me breathe as easily. The baby’s five-year-old brother wanting to play with me did not make it any better. It then travelled to my stomach and it has been hell ever since.

Alka-Seltzer is disgusting when drinking it fast! It feels like water and salt. It tastes like nothing actually, but just the way it feels in the tongue disgusts me. I also tried yogurt, chewable tablets, Ginger Ale (really bad choice), and Anise tea.

Then came the vomiting because the pain was too much. It did go away, the gas pain…Yet the other day I went to a buffet and drank a soda…another bad choice…and returned home writhing in my car seat. I drank Alka-Seltzer as fast I could and wound up so full in my stomach I had to lie down. It still hurt, so I drank more, and the pain would not go away. I decided to go vomit just to see if I would feel better. I vomited all my dinner and there was some blood, which freaked the hell out of my mother.

She immediately called the hospital and I was there in half an hour. The doctor told me to eat light foods and ordered some tests for me to get done. I do feel better.

Yeah, and no soda. I have survived on Gatorade. My doctor says I am dehydrated.

I am glad I am prepared for school. I have bought my used textbooks and have printed my syllabus and watched tutorials…I cleaned my room!

I am beyond happy because I just checked the website of a famous chain of record stores in Finland to just see if they had any T.Rex stuff…and I found a bunch. I mean, I could buy their stuff here, but sweet God, Finland is T.Rex heaven! I am going all the way to Helsinki just to buy a Tyrannosaurus Rex LP. That’s how dedicated I am. I want to place the LP next to my seat when I am having breakfast or lunch in a café there.

Ah, this excitement couldn’t feel better! And neither could the stress ❤

I just realized I ordered the wrong textbook 🙂 I had to pay extra so the right copy could come to my house in one day and the money for my trip was used! Fantastic.

All right, I should be reading some articles on Darwin and archaeology now. God Bless.

Funny how the day comes slow.

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