On the brink of success

Hello, homo sapiens!

What should I be doing right now? Studying for my final Biology test! I do know the content though, you bunch of primates.

Yes, yes. The endosymbiosis and the Precambrian and how we live in the Quaternary. This is surprisingly the subject of biology that has been easiest to learn. I remember I had trouble with radioactive isotopes and genes.

Sexual reproduction increases genetic variation!

Last week my teacher showed us a video about monkeys, and while nearly all beings were focused on their phones, I was quite amused by the primates.

Prosimians are awful cute, and quite scary! There were also these male monkeys who group the females in harems and will bite them if they try to leave. It’s hilarious to see. There were also these in Japan that would go to a hot spring pool near a volcano during the winter. Only the high class girl monkeys and their offspring could be there. If anyone else joined, they would be bitten and screamed at. That made me laugh. Even monkeys have class systems.

The monkey video helped me memorize these things easily. Then again, I have also been doing all my work and we have reviewed it too many times.

I have not written here in about a week! Nothing much has happened…

I entered a poetry contest about two weeks ago. I myself am not confident about my poetry, but I just entered because I wanted to win and wouldn’t let those thug brats be better than me.

On Monday, they announced the winners and my hands were shaking. I didn’t even win fourth place. Only nine people entered.

Maybe my poem sounded too much like a narrative. My vocabulary was odd. However, I got really upset when kids who don’t work as hard as I do in that school won.

The one who got first prize is a girl in my class who never does her work and only fucking talks! I am devoted to my studies…My poem was deep. I wrote about how the school had saved me.

It probably wasn’t their style. All the English teachers had assembled to judge the poems and select the winners. I heard one was taken out because it was not good.

I have trouble believing I didn’t even win third place because all my English teachers have praised my writing in that school and given me a hundred percent on my assignments. I guess I am more of a story writer; I got an excellent score on a satire I wrote about Finnish politicians.

I guess I can’t compete with girls or boys who write about their heartbreak for their dashing young boyfriends or emo goth poems about how darkness envelops the heart!

I guess I can’t win everything. I do feel I will be more successful than them though.

Thank the lord I will be graduating next week…

My irritable mood has continued because my own body will not let me sleep enough, even with pills.

Classic schedule? I go to bed at nine….and I wake up at 3:58 am with nausea! I go to bed at one…I wake up at 3:40ish am with nausea!

So, what I do when I can’t go back to sleep and still feel nauseous, I go to the computer and watch the Finnish parliament, if it is on. Or I snapchat. Or watch videos about Donald Trump.

The good thing is to never lie down. Yesterday I ended up going to the bathroom and vomiting. Well, my sea bands were not placed correctly.

Will birth control help with the morning sickness? I hope so. The gynecologist didn’t take this seriously and just told me to go to bed earlier, to not eat before sleep, to eat breakfast, and to exercise.

I’ve been doing everything except exercise. The gym where I live is full of gross men and I don’t want them to see me in my sports clothes. The gym I like going to is about forty five minutes away.

Hopefully I will talk to my primary doctor and tell her this morning nausea is truly bothersome. I can’t even sleep in during weekends!

I am alone at home because I didn’t feel like accompanying my mother to her job interview. I told her she couldn’t be dependent on me. She said I was a bad and evil person.

That gave me more motivation to sit on the couch, eat chips, drink Coke, and watch some Scrubs. I am as obsessed with it as I was five years ago.

I have got to quit taking afternoon naps! I will wake up more early!

Movies! I haven’t been watching that many movies…

I did watch an excellent one called The Truman Show. It might be Jim Carrey’s best film! It was a film I never expected myself to see…but it was majestically strange. It was like a doll house! Or like The Sims.



You know what I’ve been listening to again? Lana Del Rey. I listened to her a lot in the summer of 2014. I like how she’s not like the other female artists of her generation…For example, she is not obsessed with feminism like this generation is. That’s probably why I don’t hear about her as much anymore. She has a good voice.

Besides Miss Lana, I’ve been getting much into Nico. I’ve always liked her singing in the banana album of The Velvet Underground, but her own work is just as good! Her voice is pure and smooth and sad…a sad that gives me relief. Nico’s voice is truly precious in “Femme Fatale”…I always get melancholy when I hear it.

On Mother’s Day I agreed to attend a party of Peruvians, just for the food. It was a terrible experience…I have Peruvian blood, but I do not feel Peruvian. Too many people danced. The music was atrociously loud and awful…and I was really upset with my mother because she drank about two beers and she was our driver. I am happy I don’t live there anymore.

Jeeeeez, it is eight at night and I have not eaten since eleven…

I might not post as often anymore because I will have to return my computer to my school next week…

Just know in late August I won’t post because I’ll be in Europe!


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