She’s rabid in ecstasy

How very pleasant I do feel today! Nothing is at all perfect…but my life actually feels stable!

First, my morning sickness has been dealt with. I have bought these things called “sea bands” that you put on your wrist and tightly grasp it, which apparently makes the nausea go away. It has worked wonders for me! After days of waking up sick, I can finally get up and get dressed without gagging every ten seconds. No more staring at the toilet and feeling more nauseous after smelling the toilet water. No more vomiting in the sink.

I put them on at night and I wake up a little sick, but then goes away after half an hour or so. However, I have felt quite full all week and have barely eaten. I wear them for the rest of the day and they look like those wrist bands joggers wear. It also kind of looks as if slashed my wrists. I hope people don’t get that idea.

Some PMS pills were also bought…They’re purple. They alleviate headaches and irritation and more of the sort. They have truly helped me lately.

I’ve been in such a joyous mood in school, even to the point of ecstasy at times. My class work is done…I can socialize with my friends without going all quiet and bored. It seems that my menstrual cycle transformed me into a sorrowful monster. And it only lasts up to three days.

Besides such messy business, I got my results from my blood work. In my last post I did happen to mention that I have some hypochondriac qualities and I was afraid I might have something serious. After days of feeling sickening anxiety over a possibility of severe illness, a doctor called and said my blood work looked fine. So, nothing is really wrong with me. “YAY, I’M GONNA LIVE!” is what I thought to myself.

Relating to socializing, today during lunch a male friend of my friend sat with us and started asking questions. I felt a little nervous because I am not used to being around boys (it’s quite intimidating).

As an usual adolescent topic, he started asking us if we smoke weed. When the question came to me, he asked, “Do you smoke [whispering] weed?”

I struggled to stare at him due to shyness.

“I mean, I think you would, because you look chill.”

Well, aww. Cute! I’m CHILL. Is it because my attire is hippie-ish even though I would never condone the things they do?

Anyway, it felt nice that I had been noticed or even thought about. It was cute that they thought I would like their little drug that smells like cat pee. I replied with a shy, “NO, no!” and shook my head.

That was one of the most random things to occur today.

I could relate my shyness to the film Brooklyn. The main character Eilis is played by the beautiful Saoirse Ronan and is so timid in the beginning! When she immigrates to New York, she finds it hard to speak to people and I stopped feeling alone when she blushed while talking to a costumer on the first day of her job.

I really love that movie because I could relate moving to another country and having to learn the customs. When I moved to California, I didn’t know English and thought Americans were uptight. Eilis is a character who respects herself and sets her mind to her goals. That’s what I loved about the film…It didn’t have some girl who gave up on her dreams because of a boy or slept with the first man she saw. She had morals.

I also loved it because the Irish have had special place in my heart ever since I watched Breakfast on Pluto, which is my second favorite movie of all time. The older I get, the more I can understand that movie…The more realistic and sad it seems. Kitten copes with hardship with fantasy.

Anyway, Saoirse Ronan is a fine actress! I first saw her in The Lovely Bones and then in Hanna, where she played a Finnish girl who really had her way with weapons. In The Grand Budapest Hotel, too. But in Brooklyn I could identify with her, and I think that’s what good acting can cause. America can seem like a cold, passerby stranger at first, and then it can welcome you and invite you to its library of knowledge and opportunity. That’s how it has been to me.

Speaking of nice girls, I have been just reading and reading Gene Tierney’s autobiography! It’s such a great read by far! A long chapter about Jack Kennedy! Oh, Gene’s story is just fun to read. Gene was set on her work and respected herself. She valued herself, of course. I mean, she had her imperfections, but by the time she wrote this book she had come to forgive herself and accept what had happened.

I find it a bit disappointing that she hasn’t mentioned Vincent Price because I’ve seen them in a lot of films together, in which she usually made his life hell.

Even when Gene became big in Hollywood, she didn’t become a showy diva or someone who had affairs with her co-stars. I’m proud of her, unlike Tallulah Bankhead, who would say she went to Hollywood to “fuck that divine Gary Cooper.” God, what a tramp! I’m really sore at her because she insulted my dear idol Pola Negri unfairly.

I like my movie stars respectable with honor!

Gene Tierney looking fabulous, as she always did.

It was an interesting anecdote that Gene was creeped out by Douglas Fairbanks.

(I am so glad I can read again!)

I’m gonna apply for my part-time job just to pay for expenses. Norway and Finland are expensive countries.

I am going to play some Grand Theft Auto V now, for it has been a long time. I have good driving skills…when it comes to fleeing from the cops and running people over.


I feel like Mickey Finn in this picture.

While the stoners from my school will be celebrating 4/20 tomorrow, I’ll be celebrating (or crying) the fact that I saw my favorite band live for the first time six years ago.


3 thoughts on “She’s rabid in ecstasy

    1. She’s one of the best actresses I’ve seen in this day and age! Not like the ones who are always getting lip injections or partying. This one can actually act! I highly recommend Brooklyn…It’s a beautiful story about living as an immigrant.

      And thank you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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