It’s midnight already, so I’ll consider myself a nocturnal writer. With the lights on, of course. I hate darkness.
I am waking up in about six hours…why am I writing? It’s probably because I am quite bored. Simply said. Simply explained. If I go to sleep right now, I’ll wake up to the same thing again and life once is starting to feel cyclical and that’s not good. That’s surely inevitable, which is the reason why changes should always be made.
My favorite things haven’t been as enjoyable. Everything seems repetitive.
Today, or yesterday, I spent most of my latter part of the day in bed, watching about eight episodes of a show, trying to sleep, and working through Geography. Oh, mountainous heavens and wonders of the Alps and the market economy and The North Sea and the plains and basins! Last week I was excited because I was well on my way to finishing this course early, but this week I had to open my mouth and ask a teacher if I am in good track for graduation and she said yes, as long as I finished my three courses in night school. There’s more to this! I went to the counselor as quickly as I could and she told me that as soon as I finish this course I will have another Geography one and then English. I can only take one at a time. If I don’t finish all of this by May, I won’t graduate with a diploma or ceremony. Now I’m working harder than ever.
It could work! The first course has only taken me a month! My eyes burn most of the time and I feel as doubly depressed due to lack of sleep, but it will all pay off at the end.
Besides that, my whole schedule has been changed because I need other classes for credits. Government and Economics aren’t so bad; mostly textbook work. However, there is an outdoor physical education class where we are outside and supposed to do an activity of some sort. I tried walking laps and it made me look strange. Today I tried playing with a volleyball and was so clueless about what to do that I asked a girl sitting by herself to play with me. It was an awkward experience that I would not bother to live through again. We just stood there and I had no idea what to say. I just really wanted my daily points, since I couldn’t sit on a bench. We had only been playing for about thirty seconds when the ball approached some rude idiot who, instead of giving me the ball, he kicked it with such force that it went far over a fence. He didn’t apologize. I think he shrugged. Thus, my motivation with participating in physical education went poof.
It didn’t bother me at that moment, but now that I have discussed it with my sister, it seems to me that the little bastard behaved like a unmannerly simpleton. I did tell my teacher at the end of class, just so I wouldn’t be blamed for the disappearance over the ball. My teacher said he was a dumbass.
I should have defended myself. This was such a primary school moment that I thought I had been through with this. In Peru I was so proud and respected myself to a point that I insulted (and sometimes hit) boys who behaved like bastards with me. That was second grade stuff though.
What the hell makes those brats think they are so superior? I myself have felt inferior among them because I am so withdrawn and can never really “perform” socially. First of all, what most of them do is walk like Tommy Pickles with their pants falling (they go up to their knees really) and everybody can see their color of their underwear, which is red. Besides walking like ducks, they go all quack-quack about how they’re so badass with their weed and their “fuck the world” attitude and their rap and how school is a waste. Today I even saw brats sell each other drugs or cigarettes as I was walking to class.
So, what the hell makes them act so much better? I work my ass off for my future. I have dreams that actually will pay off and will bring me success. I don’t do this just for money; it’s mostly to make the time I have now on Earth count.
Sure, throw Isadora’s ball because she is timid and does all her work and would not act on violence. She looks weak! In reality, she does despise you and you’re the reason why she is going to college about forty minutes away! Also, you are all her inspiration for getting ahead in a school of like-minded individuals (you pot smoker darlings) and living in an area where beings aren’t under the influence of stupidity. I’ll probably miss you, my bruhs. Yeeea….y’all.
Yeah, I’m talking to the counselor tomorrow. I have this disability thing that will follow me all my life that gives me the right to ask for another alternative to get credits for a class.
I’m done with the scathing complaints about my fellow school mates.
My weekend was marvelous. My sister actually asked for the day off on Sunday and she drove us to see The Loves of Pharaoh in the cinema. Drama was the fuel for that movie! Harry Liedtke was once again suffering for a woman…and he is really good at playing a man tormented by the cruelties of love. I felt like I belonged there, mostly because it was a movie directed by Mr. Lubitsch, and because I could talk to my sister about all the pretty films I’ve seen from his work and this and that. I actually loved the performance of Emil Jannings, even though I don’t actually like him. He was very expressive when he looked at Theonis…such eyes! A close-up of Harry Liedtke made me smile. I was smiling when the movie started…I was smiling. My eyes got a little wet when the music score started playing. It’s such a powerful score. I was so fortunate once again to have catched a screening of a rare film. The people discussing about Egypt in the beginning was interesting. I will never forget seeing Forbidden Paradise on the screen…thanks to UC Berkeley. They have shown great films.
My sister and I saw The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring the other day…I vaguely remember parts of it from childhood…but I remember always being amazed by its success that I would tell my mother how many Oscars the movies had won. I only read about ninety pages of the first book…The movie made me feel alive, drawing me in its adventure and the story is so original. Such energy in the fights! My sister and I joked about Frodo and Sam being in love, which seems kind of true.
At least the Oscars are this Sunday and maybe Mr. Leo will win…He probably will.
And I’m waiting for the weekend so I could buy a blu-ray copy of Woman in the Moon, which was just released yesterday! A Kino version, I think, because this video is from two years ago.
I shut my eyes and smile. I have forgotten to study for my Biology quiz.