Before the birthday candle comes study and the blues

I’m lying in bed knowing studies do not overwhelm me at the moment.

Two night school tests? Check.

Science rock test? Check

Hitler and Stalin project? Check.

I have more online work do to during the weekend. I’ve been progressing through it with decent scores on tests.

I’ve been tired as hell.

My birthday is in exactly a week. Alas!!!

My sister has ordered an expensive present she ordered to be made for me, she says. I begged her to not tell me since I always know what my presents are. Two days ago she happened to tell me that some my favorite band’s singles were for sale online. I hyperventilated -or nearly did- and went home as fast as I could with anxiety rising and crushing me with its sharp worrisome foot. I was so happy and felt so alive and that it was just right to give myself a chance and I had to wait an entire day of persistent worries until I could buy them.

And so eighty dollars or so were spent on four singles. Magnificent!!! By the end of my lifetime, I will own them all. I mean it.

My presents will come some days after my birthday, however.

I don’t know how I will spend it. I hope I don’t cry this year.

Being vegetarian hasn’t been too hard. I’m getting used to it. Tofu and chipotle are delicious! A veggie omelet was good, too.

I saw one certainly, certainly bizarre teen film about students going to their teacher’s house and keeping her trapped just because she gave one of them a bad grade. Helen Mirren was astounding as always, but the movie was terrible and funny. Katie Holmes can’t act πŸ™‚

My emotions have also been more profound and intense. Many tears have been shed. Much anger has been felt. And, of course, jealousy continues to be abound. My obsessions are being taken from me. I haven’t been able to even see videos of my favorite music on YouTube in years.

But, for most of the most part, this is due to hormones or self-esteem. I’m sure without this stress and moodiness I can be moderately at peace.

God, I want to attend the ballet again.

Wow, I miss Sabbath’s first album. I remember I would listen to that twice a day. I was born without you baby but my feelings were a little bit too strong….

It’s interesting to think I can get married next week. Every time I have told my parents they laugh it off.

I’ve been watching That 70s Show again because I have nothing else to watch now that I’ve finished Gilmore Girls. It’s so nice that I chose it to be my rebound show because I’ve seen every episode and still find it funny. Even Fez’s jokes. And I don’t like Fez.

It must have really been a drag to be a teen in the seventies. Nothing to do but smoke pot and doing the silliest things with friends, according to that show. That sounds very dull, to be honest.

I do like bell bottoms. And Godfather. And T. Rex.

More things will come to mind.

You know, I’m still sitting here waiting for something to come to mind. Writing is hard.

Now, It’s four hours later and I’m off to sleep. I’ve been sad and irritated and hopeless today. I need sleep.

I told you from my best side, darlings.


4 thoughts on “Before the birthday candle comes study and the blues

  1. ’70s fashion seems pretty awesome, there were plenty of great movies that came out, too.XD i watched serpico last saturday. i like the godfather too but al pacino is simply a++ in serpico.

    and oh, an early happy birthday to you, isadora!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tons of great movies were made in that decade and Al Pacino was one of the best icons of that period. Serpico is a fantastic movie. I named myself Isadora after seeing that scene where Al Pacino is dancing ballet in the office and reading Isadora Duncan’s autobiography, he-he. The ending gives me chills.

      And thank you! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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