Argghgh….it is Sunday and tomorrow I have to wake up to the intrusive sound of my six o’clock morning alarm. I don’t really dread it, because it gets me out of the house. Not a clever way to really start a post, is it? Mentioning my alarm? My father got me another alarm for Christmas…I wasn’t too happy. However, I have never been late to the school I attend.

My weekend has been fast and with periods of inactivity. I had to stop watching Gilmore Girls after it made me upset with how the plot is going…I need time to process some things. I couldn’t feel motivated to watch any movies at home or play my Grand Theft Auto IV (though it made me laugh like hell today). Didn’t feel like learning Finnish. Didn’t feel like writing.

So, I begged my father to drive me to the posh city I lived in for five years, which is about forty five minutes away. I used to hate it and took it for granted. I miss it a lot. As I have said before, puberty can feel like a disastrous thing. My anger towards almost everything prevented me from appreciating what was right in front of me. The city where I reside has literally nothing, only a famous fish shop. I’ll probably miss it one day.

But it is not visiting the city that I most enjoy, it is the car ride. It serves as the best form of relaxation I could obtain lately. I just put on some tunes and start thinking. Usually the thoughts range from despair to confidence at an all time high.

It was on a Friday afternoon that I heard my favorite band’s second album and I realized it is still beloved and cherished and secured and worshiped by me. My emotions changed swiftly to jealousy, elation, love, and some craziness of my part.

Then I put a T.Rex album in my CD player and that’s when the music ecstasy really, really happened after some time. I was just staring out the window, motionless, and listening to the lyrics. I felt free inside. I thought I was trapped in a very good dream. It was pure magic that I experienced, caught in some sort of ethereal spell. I kept imagining I was in my afterlife with beds of flowers on the ground and a countryside and I was sipping tea with Marc Bolan (he was wearing his top hat and that outfit from The Slider) and then the band played and we were all running around with bunnies and there was a sunset and nothing would go wrong.

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When you have moments like this with music, don’t interrupt it. It’s all going so well. Don’t break yourself from that state. Enjoy it.

I had to sadly interrupt it, but I felt I was dancing as I walked in the mall  with the Rabbit Fighters and are you my main man, are you now, are you now, are you NOW?

On that day I ended up buying a book on Marc Bolan, which I would skim through every time I visited the bookstore. I spent the rest of the night reading different parts and learned his faults and goods. Apparently, he thought of Mickey Finn as King Aragorn from Lord of The Rings.

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Well, yes, that was a good part of my weekend. Such a pity that Marc lived a short life, but I know he was proud he left a legacy. My goal in life is to leave a legacy. He knew he had potential, he knew he was unique, he knew he was gifted (though he was insecure), and people thought he came off as egotistical at times, which, yeah, he kind of did.

Then yesterday I spent most of the day at home and was bored out of my mind. I begged my father again to drive me to the city just so I could visit my sister at work. She had just gotten off and we went to the bookstore. I found my favorite band’s seventh album…and felt relieved. I have a copy of it already from six years ago…but I just felt the rabid urge to buy it. Months ago I found it in the music section and I wanted no one to touch it, so I hid it under a book shelf (along with other items) and it was there for months. It was eventually found, much to my dismay, and disappeared for a while. That saddened me a bit. Yet last week I found it in the clearance section! Oh, how I fought the need to possess it! Then, yesterday when I found it, my sister rolled her eyes and said she would buy it for me. It only cost a dollar anyway.

She opened the case to see if the album was there and…it wasn’t there. The disc of their first album was there instead. My face flushed and my heartbeat accelerated. I thought it was going to rip out of my chest. FIRST ALBUM??? That’s my favorite album. Oh god, the sellers who gave it away are idiots. In this case, putting the wrong CD in the case was a blessing for me. The cashier didn’t even notice it was the wrong thing and I was so happy to add another copy to my collection. I am happy to say that I possess six copies of that album now. The person hadn’t played it as much as I had…

This is a sign of something, though I am to know what it is soon possibly. The first album has always been very special to me. Especially the first song.

My sister and I drove to cinema after that and I told her of the new Tarantino movie I was meaning to see and that Leonardo Dicaprio movie in the wild.

She convinced me to choose The Revenant, which is one of the best decisions I ever made. Five minutes into the film I could not take a bite from my meal, and I never did. I was immediately absorbed. It was very violent, but very beautiful. The icy mountains and the white surroundings were captured so well, I had to praise each shot every time. Leo did one hell of a job. My admiration with him from childhood immediately returned! He actually ate animal liver in the film and raw fish! He barely spoke a word! He slept in a horse’s carcass! I myself felt afraid of what was going to happen…I felt threatened! That’s how sucked in I was in the movie. I felt the freezing cold…and that pain…especially when he burned his throat to close his wound. I was thinking of getting a bit to eat when he drank and the liquid came out of a hole of his throat and I gagged. Whenever a film affects me in a manner like this, I realize it makes me feel. That’s right. It made me feel a lot. The film included loyalty, cruelty, death, survival, and bravery. It was just the right length…I kept rooting for Leo. I’m going to say this now. He really deserves that Oscar. He’s worked so hard, he’s experienced by now! He was Johnny Depp’s autistic little brother! He was Jack! The lad in The Departed! I’ve liked him all my life and I feel so proud. I loved how each scene carried a feeling of danger, of pain, and of fear. By the end, a shot was fired in the film and I shook for a second.

I could understand barely a word John Fitzgerald said. The surreal sequences during Glass’s dreams were sad, but very sweet. Revenge would not fix anything.

This film was one of the finest films I have seen from this era in a long time. Don’t think Cinema is dead. Alejandro González Iñárritu made a masterpiece, sweet God. I hadn’t felt so excited and energized in the movies for a long time. I almost saw Birdman on 2014, but my sister’s friend decided to make us watch Dumb and Dumber 2 instead. Oh well. I was a bit interested in it because it reminded me of Sunset Boulevard.

When it ended, nobody clapped and I quietly did. I was annoyed for a second because of that, but I realized the mood of the film had left the audience feeling cold and pensive.

I recommend it with all of my powers of recommendation. Watch it while you can! It was a memorable experience to see it in theatres. I got great seats, too. I’m definitely getting it on blu-ray.

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Once again, I shall say that Leo deserves his precious Oscar. If he wins, I will stand in my living room and clap so hard. My eyes will be watery.

I mean, Oscars don’t define you as an actor. Pola Negri herself never won one, but she was an amazing actress. However, I believe he has contributed a great deal to the film industry in Hollywood and he deserves it.

After writing this, I now believe I had a good weekend.

I’m progressing good in my life. I signed up for night school, and if I succeed, I will be graduating in May.

I attended the wrong ballet class, so I have to attend to the correct one tomorrow. I’m nervous.

Now I will be off to eat a salad and watch something…

God, my birthday is in almost exactly a month. I will never be this age again. Pity.

I feel that I am living somehow.

Time to make new memories.

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