I have survived yet another nap in which I have been half awake. It took around five hours, considering my day went faster than ever, and my whole being was drained.
I returned to my place of education today and the thought of returning was quite motivating. Two weeks in your house does get tedious after a while. Life was becoming a routine!
My sleep from the night before was disturbed with persistent awakenings and anxiety. I kept thinking of the worst possible scenarios and things were in ruin in my life. There was failure, rejection, depression, and loss of the hope I’ve thankfully acquired in these past few months. These last three days have been bothersome. I’ve been feeling jealous of just anything and had to stay away from most of all my social media accounts. Hell, I only can look at my profile of an account lately. Maybe it is a healthier alternative. I feel less upset. I wish there could be a pill for jealousy.
There was a moment in my indoor “physical” education class (with puzzles and board games) in which I almost went berserk about the disappearance of the puzzle I work on every day. It relaxes me. I even know by what time I should be finished building it. So, I couldn’t find it in the back of the cafeteria and felt a bit anxious. I asked my teacher about its location and then he informed me that a girl had been playing with it since the last class. Excuse me?
Yes, I became irritated. “She has two physical education classes?” I asked.
“Yes…” he said.
“She’s not even finished!”
In my mind…that puzzle is mine. Since September, I’ve been working on it every day. I know I could get another puzzle, but…I just know that’s the One. This is how I get As in this class every six weeks!
I saw her just chatting with her friend and I believe the latter was looking at me. This was a bit embarrassing. Really, in all the six hours there, what I look forward up to is working on my puzzle and listening to my favorite tunes. She wasn’t even working on it at all! I need my relax time from these “yea, bro” kids.
“It’s just that it relaxes me,” I told my teacher.
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” he replied with some concern.
“Do you want to ask her if she’s done or should I?” asked he.
“No…I’ll do it.” I replied with a sigh.
I walked up to the female and asked her if she was done. She was. She let me have it. I picked all the pieces and put them back in the box as she talked to her friend.
I made drama over a puzzle. I was jealous she had it. I have always been possessive over things I feel belong to me. When I was almost done, I noticed one piece was missing. The irritation crept in. I looked around the room repeatedly and couldn’t find it. It took minutes to notice it was under her table. If you don’t even care for it, I urge you to not touch it! Whenever puzzles are incomplete, I feel very uncomfortable.
But, hell, it does feel nice to memorize that puzzle and know where all the pieces fit. After I ended, I wrote in my notebook and enjoyed some Massive Attack.
I felt quite embarrassed about how childishly I behaved. Well, I had my reasons. And, yes, I placed the puzzle in a hidden area so no other person would touch it and mistreat it and drop pieces on the ground.
Right after that class ended, I was called to the principal’s office. For one moment I thought my little puzzle obsession performance had landed me in trouble.
No, it was actually something that is the very opposite. My principal nicely gave me a certificate declaring I was chosen Student of the Month in my school. I was much flattered. The whole staff selected me. As a reward, I’m getting a free lunch in this other place and I had to choose a teacher to join me.
That made me feel very proud. It was funny that none of my peers clapped when it was announced. I can’t help being the best.
In science, I learned I got 24.5/25 points in a test I had studied a great deal for. My heart sank to the ground when he told me. Then I remembered that last month I was very stressed about finals and that made me feel depressed.
My day wasn’t so tragic. It went smoothly, though it felt like a trance. Tomorrow I have to attend my first ballet class (after nine years) because my mother assumed I want to be a ballerina after I saw The Nutcracker. I’m very flattered. I’m also scared. What if females laugh at me? What if I get the moves wrong? They have to perform in June! I am not prepared for a performance! The lady said I could just go this once to see if I like it. Being in pink slippers and tights and having my hair in a bun would be fun again.
My winter vacation was great for once. I cleaned my entire room.
I also got Die Nibelungen on blu-ray! The next morning, I put it on the PS3, just to see if it worked, and was sucked in the movie again. I finished Siegfried and, dear lord, it is still such a massively phenomenal film.
My vacation also included lots of T. Rex. Call me rabbit fighter!
I’ve also been visually devouring Gilmore Girls and I stayed up last night until one in the morning watching it! I’m almost done with season six. That thing about Luke and a kid put me in a terrible mood that I had to stop watching for a little while.
Now, I shall be off! Good-bye!