Have you ever laughed so terribly hard? Well, today I did. It is nice to amuse oneself.
After having been sick all morning, there I was, finally playing Grand Theft Auto IV. It had taken me some time to do some of the very first missions and I was at last getting the grasp of the game. I began to just play nice by walking around, giving money to the homeless, and eating a delicious hamburger in Cluckin’ Bell. Actually, I wasn’t a total saint. I pushed the hotdog vendor hard enough to kill him. I, well, Niko, punched through car windows and got people arrested when they punched him in front of a cop. Niko also followed a lady around with his stolen motorcycle and eventually killed her, but he managed to lose the cops just in time. I was having fun!
I kept talking during my game play. What else can one do when they are alone at home? It was my very personal commentary.
Anyway, I didn’t start having an enormous blast until I answered Roman by mistake, Niko’s cousin, after having ignored his calls. I guess I pressed the “agree” button on the cellphone because Niko gave a comment saying, “Sure, I’ll go to the strip club.” Hmm, well, Niko…
Niko, darling, I am not a fan of strip clubs or strippers. I don’t like how they vulgarly expose themselves.
But, what is the harm about entering a club full of scantily clad pixel ladies? I could have…..my own version of fun.
I entered my cheats, got some weapons, and off we drove miles to the glorious strip club! I can’t believe even in a videogame I had to pay five dollars to cross a bridge. Hey, at least it was completed… unlike the last two games set in Liberty City.
The guard told me to enjoy myself as I walked in. Roman went somewhere to stare at the butt of some woman. Hmm…
I refused to accept “private dances” from one stripper about five times. Niko is celibate! At least these girls aren’t as rude as the ones in GTA V.
Oh, what could I do now?
I took out my darling rocket launcher and delivered some deadly fireworks. Bam! Bam! Bam! Ladies fell from their poles, others ran, and guards started to attack me. Fire everywhere! Niko’s angry boy face! I think even Roman died. That’s when I started to laugh hysterically.
I knew more cops were coming, so I shot another rocket, the whole building caught fire, and I died.
Once out, I realized that the hospital was just around the corner from the club. I was surprised that I wasn’t banned when they let me walk in. Hmm…
I got closer to one of the pole dancers and climbed up the stage. Niko was now a star. Men grumbled and guards told me to leave.
Maybe Niko’s dream had always been of being a stripper.
Once a guard started punching me, I beat him with a bat, as some stripper ladies followed. I used no explosives this time. For one minute, I thought the victims had turned to zombies when they got up. Nikon took them out of their misery.
The cops took some time to arrive…. after I had succeeded in my rampage. They barged in shooting with their pistols….and I learned how to finally aim. If you want to practice your aim, remember to go to a strip club in Grand Theft Auto. Many apparently died but got back up! After two minutes, I had about four stars in my wanted level and the SWAT team ran in as I was recharging my gun. There were too many of them and, alas, Niko died.
What an adventure! Better than all my club rampages in other GTA games!
I discovered how nice it can be to amuse myself, even if it seems ridiculous sometimes. I’ve just got to survive.
Now, I have to deal with the stress from school! I had to go home early due to feeling ill and I had to miss lessons…and my teacher never emailed me back and I don’t want to fail….