Ah, the breeze is cooling down and Fall is getting near. The air is no longer boiling and I can comfortably start wearing pants again.
I have been having bizarre urges lately…I want to touch the Sun. It may sound practically impossible….but hasn’t one ever been driven wild with curiosity to touch the Sun for a millisecond and feel a slight naughty burn??? I swear, when I am a ghost, I will travel to the Sun and touch and walk on it. Maybe it’s a little hot for a summer vacation…but all is well. This is the goal of my existence, even spiritually.
Today I had a petty issue in school that was just a terrible discomfort. It has not been told here that I did get into the other school to help get my credits faster, but, well, I did. The work is easier and I get points. Indoor physical education means building a puzzle every day.
This educational place does not have excellent students. Everything they say is derogatory. Everything stupid to them is “gay”. They refer to everyone as “n*gga” and it is just plain awful. They disrespect the teacher and talk about beating people up and sometimes are so disruptive that I can’t concentrate. Oh, and another thing, they act like they’re in gangs. Oh, right, and smoking weed is a daily necessity.
Well, I’ve been fine there academically. I have all As. I can graduate by next summer.
The occurrence today made me realize how absurd people could be in order to get what they desire.
During and between my lessons, a boy has been approaching my seat and talking to me. I didn’t want to be rude at first but for the past week it’s been as if he were insisting for something. He has inquired about my interests and things related to the sort. I told him I like silent movies. At first I thought he was trying to be nice to me and wanted to be my friend. By the second time, he asked me if I had KIK, which I later came to discover it was a messaging app. I started to figure out some things.
Yesterday, I talked to him about classic movies and he said he liked Cantinflas. To stay in the topic of movies ONLY, I started thinking of Mexican cinema and I brought up The Exterminating Angel. He said he watched it.
Today he approached me again and I told him I had work to do and that he should do it, too. He finished his assignment (maybe he lied) and started talking to me again. He talked to me about classes and school. He said English was boring. I said it was incredibly fascinating and that I despise the children who always interrupt the class with their topics. He acted as if that was normal. Then I asked him about his history class and he apparently had no idea what type of history he was getting taught. I had to go along with all this crap. Pretty soon I proudly talked about how Plato had fascinated me when we read an excerpt of The Republic for class and he said he wasn’t interested.
Then he said I was innocent. I agreed.
“Sometimes being innocent isn’t everything. I bet your personality isn’t really like this,” he said.
“You need to hang out with people who aren’t that innocent because you’re missing out on a lot of fun. You need to have fun.”
After realizing I was having a conversation like this, I replied, “I know ways I can have fun by myself.”
“It’s not always good to be like this. You need to be atrevida.” We were talking in Spanish.
Okay, so the little cunt said I need to be “atrevida”. Having lived in Peru and speaking Spanish since birth, I know what that word really fucking means.
Atrevida is a word for girls who act sexy and are willing to sleep with plenty of people.
You inconsiderate cunt.
“I know it doesn’t mean anything now, but being innocent won’t always be good.” That’s when he left.
Sure! I should probably go be carelessly promiscuous and pass joints with my homies, bro.
After that, I couldn’t concentrate in class after that and felt deeply angered. I wanted to scream at his disgusting face.
I had to wait until the lesson ended so I could speak to my teacher. It was now or never. I told her I felt offended and uncomfortable. When asked if I had felt harassed, I agreed. Apparently the principal knows about this now for that sole reason. He acted all innocent (ha-ha!) and told the school authority that he meant to say I was so different from anyone else and I was special and blahhhhh….
You can’t fix this, you perverted idiot. A translator told the authority that “atrevida” meant a girl who is brave and proud. Oh, sweet God. Where I lived, that word meant basically a woman who is open for business.
Hey, I’m still very angry. The bastard even asked me to have lunch with him today.
It is not easy to tell someone you’re not interested in them, but when they persist and don’t get the message, it can be mentally draining.
In this time of my life, all I think about is school, my future career, and won’t involve myself in romantic matters for a long time. That’s just the way it is.
But, it’s all over now! All over! Soon I won’t have to be around those sex-starved idiots and I’ll be off to my professional journey.
Ugh, that was just really unpleasant today, sweet lord.
Well, anyway, I think his intentions were that he wanted to do something with me. Look, darling [scoffs], having sex young is something sad I see in people my age. When one is young, they are driven by hormones, but they don’t take the time to realize the body is a very sacred thing. The act itself is very passionate and is not often shared with people one fully trusts or loves. It’s so overdone now and the media makes it look like a selfish necessity. Will you trust the person for all the years of your life? If doing this is just something to get done and people hurry, then that’s just plain sad. If you’re with someone whom you don’t love to death or he/she doesn’t love you to death, then it wouldn’t be a good idea to have sex because it will probably become a drag and something you are expected to do thereafter. That’s my theory.
Not everyone sees it that way, I guess.