I’m crying. I locked myself in my room. I don’t know what to do or my thoughts will get desperate.

Last night, it occurred to me that my fate is to be a fatal one, meaning I’ll go crazy at the end and put myself out of misery in a much tragic manner.

I woke up happy and watched videos of my favorite band with much elation and now I am crying and wishing I was dead. I’ve only been awake four hours.

Why should nice people die while a shitty person such as me lives? I’m very ungrateful and self-absorbed.

It’s a pretty day today in sunny California. I’m inside and ignoring it with tears.

I am a coward to do something reasonable about it. I cause needless worry.