I’m skipping school today. I am glad for that. 

My mother and I were seated in the vehicle….and I was dreading seeing all the children and humans overall but longed to consume my lunch…..

She grabbed the keys, inserted them in the car’s…..um key hole…..and the car would not turn on. Well shit, the battery was dead.

We tried getting help from our pretty female neighbor and I could see my mother’s hands trembling, as she had no idea what she was doing with wires and such. I just sat there, feeling ungrateful and guilty for not being able to help, and thinking yet again of why I don’t ever want to learn to drive a vehicle. My mother tried calling my father and tensely asked him for help….They may be divorced but at least my father comes to take care of my baby brother (who’s not even his’) and help with car troubles. I am grateful for that.

Well, my mom tried connecting her wires or whatever to our neighbor’s car but it was of no avail, for it did not bring it back to life. We had to bid good-by to her because she had to do her errands.

Luckily, our family’s dedicated mechanic, who is named Him, is coming later today.

Blast, I wanted to skip school, go to San Francisco and just walk around. I mean, I get anxiety because the city is like a multitude of ants. That’s not all. The cars. Reckless drivers. Insults. My mom has been given the finger there at least four times and was even called a bitch once.

But I love that city anyway. I love Pier 39 and the sight of the ocean. The Golden Gate (without all the suicides. Last time I walked on it, I saw a public phone for suicidal crisis hotlines. Poor Gene Sprague.) and the streets….and the variety! Why, once I walked around and heard The Doors’ “Roadhouse Blues” playing. Oh, I couldn’t help myself! I just had to loudly sing along.

Here is an image I captured with my cellular device of Lombard Street.
Here is an image I captured with my cellular device of Lombard Street last year.
And Twin Peaks.
And Twin Peaks.

But I can’t go even if we have a vehicle that works. My mom just broke up with her cop boyfriend again and he resides in San Francisco. Oh, well.

I was ready to go to school today. Yesterday I left just fifteen minutes after my arrival. It’s no longer a tolerable place. Childish screams irk me. Children irk me. I just like eating lunch and working on my English assignments. People from the staff probably think me cold-hearted and hostile for always wanting to be away from humans my age and for choosing to be in the counseling office for the rest of the last period of the day.

I did sort of finish my final project for Animal Farm. I finished writing the four journal entries. Squealer says pigs are superior and animals who aren’t should work to the purpose that they are to be forever worthless. I still have to illustrate each scene. Oh lord, I can’t even draw. Back in the 3rd grade, I drew a “white” horse and colored him sky blue. My teacher did not approve.

Oh god, I am so excited for my Pola Negri autograph!!!

What shall I do today? Watch Maya Deren movies, I assume.

She is so fascinating! I’ve begun to get obsessed with her a bit. I even saw her documentary….I loved how passionate she was about Haitian Voodoo and for film. She thought film was a for the purpose of expressing one’s mental images, not for financial profit. She had so much to say about Voodoo and film…sometimes delving into philosophical topics.

Maya, a creature of the sea, living in the other world.
Maya, a creature of the sea, living in the other world.

Oh, but San Francisco….Why am I yearning for it today?

I get rather melancholy when I got there. Especially the Fillmore. N-n-no. That’s too much for me. That’s where I saw my favorite band last year. I am almost in tears when I drive by it.

I shall also watch Gilmore Girls. I love that show. And I am happy for Rory and Lorelai. Some of the episodes make my eyes water. Even when their neighbors held a cat funeral. I wish I could have a mother like Lorelai…..Someone I could talk to without being afraid of judgment. Oh, well.

By the way, Anne Boleyn was executed 479 years ago today thanks to her conceited, obese, narcissistic asshole husband. Here is Henny Porten playing Anne in one of my favorite films ever, Anna Boleyn, which was directed by Ernst Lubitsch. Emil Jannings can sure play a tyrannical asshole and still make me laugh. The film has quirky humor, innuendo and it’s just fun!


Oh right, I should also read my big book of Bukowski poems. His poetry is something I actually want to read. He wrote that Federico Garcia Lorca sucked cock. Well….

Oh, right, my sister and I saw Woman in Gold two days ago…..Every time we go to the movies, the room is deserted and we are the only ones seated. We yelled and we laughed and we cried. I even said hi to Donnie Darko and asked him if he misses the touch of Heath Ledger.

It was a beautiful movie. Didn’t like Ryan Reynold’s nerd act though. Helen Mirren is a fantastic actress! I cried every time her characters had flashbacks of how the Nazis were invading Austria and punishing jews and even stealing prized possessions from their home. I cried when she was bidding her parents good-by. I hate Nazis and Hitler so much and cannot understand why anyone with some bit of morality would support their mischief. Oh, and I’m also getting obsessed with Gustav Klimt.

Danaë, 1907, Gustav Klimt.  It's like she's still in a fetus position, even though she knows she is growing up.
Danaë, 1907, Gustav Klimt.
It’s like she’s still in a fetus position, even though she knows she is growing up.

Have you all a fine day.