Finally, now I can write! First of all, sorry if I have been away for quite some weeks. I have been dealing with the stresses of moving and I had no time to use the computer. Well, I have been addicted to Twitter for the past week or so. I find it very entertaining, as I can write any thought I have. I’ve gotten to know many interesting cool people there who are avid fans of silent film, so it’s simply great!
I’ve watched loads and loads of great films such as Trouble in Paradise, one of the strangest talkies I have seen that I cannot help but love! My darling Lubitsch did it again! By the way, happy birthday, Ernst Lubitsch!! Have I spoken of how he is my favorite director? Paradise was so very strange with that certain idiosyncratic humor that I love from his films. I loved the scene where Miriam Hopkins is packing her stuff, ready to go to the train station, and fears that her boyfriend is having an affair with the woman they plan stealing money from. She starts singing and then it gets faster! LALALALALALA!!! Oh, my lord! Thankfully, in my new home, TCM is available on cable and I have been watching movies like crazy. I got to finally see Wuthering Heights and Laurence Olivier was one hunk! I felt so very sad at the end. Cathy, you were one bitch.
My music taste has lately revolved around Type O Negative, as I have now bought all their studio albums. October Rust is my favorite. It’s one of the sexiest and divine albums I have heard. Just listen to “In Praise of Bacchus”. AAHHH!! Just listen to how Peter Steele’s voice can caress your soul…and Kenny Hickey’s guitars….and Josh Silver’s keyboard playing and backing vocals….Such fine compositions! Such lyrics with depths! What a great band! I’ve also gotten interested in the Dead Kennedys with their Plastic Surgery Disasters, recommended by a very fantastic person and friend. I’m not BIG on punk overall but I really do like the Kennedys. I was fortunate to have met Jello Biafra last week and got him to sign me a Rudolph Valentino picture. He said, “Ah, Valentino!” I WAS IMPRESSED.
Yesterday I did die and go to heaven because my favorite band’s ultra deluxe remastered vinyls arrived after four months of waiting and I screamed. The package included a SIGNED poster. So I cried and screamed. It also came with a vinyl of their ultra rare EP so I died. I was depressed for half of my day because I tragically discovered that the drummer of my favorite band is leaving. Oh God. It was a blow to my heart. He is a highly skilled drummer, I should say; especially in their fourth album. I’ve always been fond of him because he’s been part of something I love. He was like a friend. I am happy for him. He shall explore his musical passion on his own. I mean, before the sixteen years with my favorite band, he was in a lovely punk band. They were great. My favorite band is well…a little poppy. So yes I freaked out and started trembling and had a terrible stomachache when I discovered the news. I wish him the best. At least I got to see him three times perform and now have his autograph 🙂 I will miss him though. Thinking of a replacement is weird. He was the nicest and less divaish member of the band.
My Zoloft has been doing wonders for me. It’s really helping me. I’ve been happier during my day and have found myself laughing. My thoughts aren’t as depressive as they were last month. Maybe it’s because my new home is much bigger and spacious, meaning I have more privacy. My memory has improved and I haven’t been crying. I have dreams. By the way, I am going to Finland next year on June! I have been reviewing my Finnish and have remembered what I had forgotten, thanks to awesome Finns who have refreshed my memory. Rudolph Valentinolla on kiva perse. God, I hope I am right!
I started attending school just today after a three month absence. Surely apprehensive I was, and it wasn’t so bad. Some people giggled at me when I happened to be attentively skimming through books in the library. So what? Fuck them. I ended up checking out Franz Kafka’s The Trial. Kafka was a sad thoughtful writer like me. There was no Charles Bukowski there! He’s my favorite poet even if I’m not even big on poetry. There are lockers in my school. This is a big deal for me. I have always dreamed of having a locker, even in Peru, because of all the films I’ve seen. I feel like a girl from Twin Peaks every time I walk by them.
This place is rather old-school, which I like. It opened sometime in the twenties, which makes me imagine all the youngsters from that time roaming around campus and gossiping about Pola Negri or John Gilbert. I mean, I’ve seen Splendor in the Grass. I would’ve hated that stuff back then, just thinking of my personality. I would’ve preferred stuff from the nineteenth century, hidden in the library to read Mary Shelley, obsessed with Franz Liszt and thought that movies were a waste of time. Oh well. Pola Negri is still my favorite though! I’ll never stop loving her. I am taking Spanish class just to get my credits. I am fluent and I am proud of my native tongue.
My sister has brought a bunny into our household and has named him Valentino. Darlings, to give you all a disappointing reality check, rabbits are not very friendly. They can get pissed off. They hate to be held. Valentino likes me but I am scared of him. He was playfully scratching me (which hurt like hell) and nibbling me (to show authority) and I yelled because of childhood traumas with animals from the past. Valentino thought I was attacking him so he kind of growled and started biting my feet. I ran out of the room in utter fear. I do love him but I don’t like to be near him. He leaves a trail of poop when he runs around.
AH, YES! I finished Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories within two weeks. I can’t believe I did it. What an achievement. So much murder. So many guns. After eight years of time wasted killing random people, I gathered enough courage to do the missions. I HATED the missions with Donald Love, the neurotic cannibal dick. I had to steal corpses for his dinner party! I also hated the missions Toshiko gave me! Killing her husband took so many tries!! When I finished the game, I clapped. I killed that fucking Sicilian leader. Forgive my evil tone. I failed the mission six times because I couldn’t find the pier and crashed and got Salvatore killed. It was fun blowing up all the boats with my mini gun! I watched the whole twenty minutes of credits at the end. It is my favorite videogame. It was the first PS2 game I ever got. I love Flashback FM. I love listening to Giorgio Moroder while driving my vehicle. His songs got me through a lot of missions. I WANNA ROCK YOU!!! I am now playing San Andreas but it is too hard so I just go around and kill some people and use cheats.
So, yes, that is what I’ve mostly been doing while gone. I have felt a bit down for some moments and been terribly insecure but it is all right. I have hope somehow. I have peculiar dreams. I would like to go to Finland to study film and writing. Well, my dears. I am happy to return. I missed writing in here. I shall go and listen to my favorite band’s vinyls and scream. Good-by!