Oh, my sweet lord, I have a Clark Gable ken doll in my possession. It’s supposed to be only for collecting but I so want to play with it! I have so many Barbies that resemble Clark Gable’s leading ladies of his films from the thirties. Oh hell, the store failed to have a Vivien Leigh doll! Oh, how this vexes me! I think the Scarlett O’ Hara doll comes with that red dress from the scene where Rhett “feeds” her to the lions. What should I do now? Putting the doll of one of the main characters from my favorite movie on top of my drawer is a bit….sad. He’d be covered in dust over the years! Oh, I don’t want to abandon him. This is a doll of Clark Gable’s best role, for Christ’s sake! I thank my brother for dragging my sister and I to Toys R Us so he could obtain his Peppa Pig toys. I adore Peppa Pig. It’s one of those animated cartoons that I can stand watching. Blasted Brother George and his crying! How dare the rest of the Pig family make fun of Daddy’s weight? He works too damn hard! Now, I don’t care that I am far too old to play with my Barbies. I am going to try to entertain myself by making Clark Gable travel to the future (now) and meet the Barbies I haven’t touched for maybe two years. Collecting, my foot! I’ll play the hell out of these toys! I won’t cut the dolls’ hair though. That hasn’t been done since I was eight.

Before my energy was drained from elation, I visited a pet store, headstrong and confident from the idea of getting a guinea pig. Now, I haven’t had a pet in ten years. My family’s dog Junior had to be given away because he was sadly too destructive. Was it my fault? I did accidentally fall down the stairs while holding him when he was a pup. By God, I thought I had died. I was on the ground and my head had landed inside an empty trash bin. I found my Barbie doll one day chewed up when I came home! Bad Junior! May you rest in dog peace. I will get the guinea pig in some weeks because I am moving to a bigger house and right now there is no room for animals where I live. The things needed for his habitat are so damnably expensive! He needs a cage, a bedding, food, treats, disinfectant, and probably more! They cost more than the animal himself! The reason for this future purchase is that I have been obsessing with guinea pigs for the past six months. I don’t know why. They have delighted me with their damned rodent cuteness! Oh god, there were even Christmas outfits for them! I couldn’t stop blabbering about how I loved them! Once I pressed my face to the glass cage, one of the male guinea pigs ran into his plastic green house and trembled. Were my big brown eyes and smile frightening? If I could, I would get a giraffe as a pet but….they are not domestic, I believe. I love giraffes more than anything! But guinea pigs are a second option. I am planning to get a male one and name him Mikä. I don’t want any tramp female guinea pig who may even be pregnant. I plan on dressing Mikä with a leather jacket!

Oh, I can just imagine him in my bathtub and swimming! Oh lord, I finally would have my own pet! Oh, you spellbinding rodents! I am to study your habits, anatomy and life. I’ll be damned if my family cooks him. Apparently in Peru, it is fine to eat a guinea pig. They just serve one fried on your plate with some potatoes and other vegetables on the side. You can even eat their feet. I don’t remember ever eating a guinea pig as a child and am to never do so. I did have a chance to consume one actually but the thought of it was so repulsing that I refused. I am to play Life and later play with my Clark Gable doll with my other Barbies and smile. I know I can’t get the imagination I used to have with them as a kid but….it is still nice to play. Good-by.