I had waited all month for this and it was spoiled. All due to rudeness and my own personal intolerance of people. I saw Gone With the Wind finally in the big screen. All those four hours were lived through with tempestuous emotions.

My day before this quandary was simply fine. I spent two hours in a bookstore, thinking that I could have spent four more there in order to arrive to the movie on time because the cinema was right across the street. Turns out I got bored and the more people walked around me, the worse and doubly anxious I felt. Great, I couldn’t be comfortable on my own. I have to be a recluse to reach that level of comfort. Then I visited the only friend I have had in America and got some educational work done while chattering about our old classmates going gay Tom of Finland style. My sister picked me up and we arrived to the theater ten minutes late. Her friend wanted to come along so I agreed because I was fond of her….

I ran (I mean this) to the room where the movie was being screened and I touched my heart when I heard the music. The credits were just showing. You know, the part where they talk about Cavaliers and The South. Man, I was happy! This was my movie! Everything was just going right….except that my mood was too high and I was easily annoyed with things. The barbecue scene played and my sister’s friend wouldn’t shut her trap. Then my sister and she started making fun of the actors and their mannerisms. Oh, hush up! Then….what made it worse…..some first-timer ladies were sitting at the back and wouldn’t keep fucking quiet! Oh, by God! They were chattering about what they thought was gonna happen….they were commenting on the dresses…on the lads….I KNOW THAT VIVIEN LEIGH’S DRESS IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! HUSH UP! They were the loudest women in the room and every time something happened, they commented on anything for all of us to hear! They would not stop yabbering.

My mood sunk afterwards obviously. I moved away from my sister and I sat alone. The women still made noise. My sister’s friend would laugh at anything. I tried to watch it but I was too sad. I had seen it a million times anyway. I couldn’t even stand watching my favorite movie with people around. There was too much vexation….too much anxiety….That’s when I figured out I’m better off living as a recluse from now on. The thought of that depressed me. I like some things but I dislike the people involved not knowing why. That is how it is now. The more the movie played, the more negative my thoughts became. By the time Scarlett was dancing with Rhett in the bazaar, tears were streaming down my face. I wasn’t even paying attention to the movie, by Christ! I was supposed to enjoy this! Why was I crying instead? I kept thinking that I loved the cinematic masterpiece that was playing, but not with the people around. Their attempts to whisper were foolish because I could damnably hear. I wanted to pay attention to Vivien because I’ve mostly seen this with subtitles (I know the lines) and because her accent is still pretty English when she plays a Southerner. It’s all right. I heard all the lines just as I had memorized them. I knew the voices that spoke them. They are so melodious…like Prissy’s. I stayed seated there and succeeded to acquire silence when I cried, until I could not stand it anymore.

My sister and her friend kept making fun of the movie so I just walked out and they didn’t notice. There was nothing to miss really. I’ve read the book twice and seen that movie a gazillion times. The bathroom was there to console me for some time. I wiped my tears and washed my face. When I returned, I sat next to my sister and whispered in her ear by telling her I was losing hope quickly at that very moment. I told her it was nothing serious. Her friend still could not shut her trap and even said Scarlett was crazy. By God, if you only understood all the diversity she had to welcome in her life! My sister and she were whispering to each other about the latest “tweet” or “post” in their technological devices. How rude! Why the hell did her friend come anyway? Why did she tag along?

At least the women behind us stopped blathering. A person snored at one point. I had shushed my sister, her friend and the women the whole time. I watched with emotion…though I could not concentrate because that wench kept whispering. My eyes were misty at the times of tragic death….like with Melanie and Bonnie. I listened to the actors’ monologues, looked at their eyes and thought of their existence as characters. I thought of the book and the descriptions. Some funny, some sad. I even imagined myself as Laurence Olivier and being jealous of Vivien’s acting. The part that hurts the most to watch is when Ashley is carrying Beau. The boy starts to cry and plead that he wants to see his mother. Oh lord, my emotions. This movie was warming my cardiovascular system again. I could’ve cried more if it wasn’t for my sister’s friend’s laughter during that scene. Oh how dare she. How fucking dare she. She did things like this through all the four hours of the movie. She “whispered” with a great clamor that Rhett was an “asshole”. How the hell is he one though? He was fed up with Scarlett. He had done so much for her and all she ever did was bring him misery. Yeah, she realized she loved him at an inopportune time. Yeah, it was her misfortune? How then is he being an “asshole”? You can see that I am very sensitive about this movie and book.

I cried to the ending again. It was so powerful, dominating the strength of my sentiments. The sunset does it for me. The score goes great with it! At the view of that sunset, you can see all the happenings! All the love, the hate, death! All the things that construct the basis of that movie! I heard some other broad telling her male companion that the movie should’ve ended right before the intermission. Did she even know what was to happen next? The movie ended appropriately! ALL THOSE FOUR HOURS ARE WORTH IT!! So yes, I stood up and clapped at the loudest I could get as then some humans stared at me! Oh, look all you want! This is my favorite movie and I so love it!!

When we exited the theater, I scolded my sister and her friend repeatedly for defiling most of my enjoyment for this movie. She didn’t even seem to care and said “sorry”. I told her how much the film meant to me…No one cared. When the hell will this movie be truly appreciated for its artistry and craft? I hope I never go to another outing with that girl again. In addition, I’m never going to the movies again. I already had been averse with human strangers but this had done it. For now, I am to watch movies on my own television. Blasted disruptive idiots.

Anyway, I have gaily screamed because of something. We called the thing or company where my favorite band’s vinyls were ordered from and they are going to be signed! Oh, how that made my day! I also bought an autobiography of my Tony Iommi! Oh, my darling! I can relate to some of his issues that he had when growing up. He was raised in the Italian culture and his parents sometimes mistreated him. He even stood up to his father by defending himself when he was getting hit. That’s what I admire about him. I don’t think he treated his daughter like that because he talks of her so sweetly throughout the book. Ha, it’s so funny, too. He gets hurt so many times. If you like Sabbath or Tony, you should read it. I just received the news that my Sabbath are going to record a new album! I didn’t see them live last year because my Bill didn’t play drums. I want to see the original members. I’m picky like that, sorry dears. I’ll finally see and feel the actual signatures of my favorite band! Oh, rapture! Clark Gable is a hunk!

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