Yesterday after yielding to negative thoughts, my sister let me accompany her to the record store. I was eager to see if Type O Negative’s The Origin of the Feces was still there but it wasn’t. Some simpleton had probably taken it. I checked for albums of my favorite band and I remembered that I’ve always owned every single album they have released. They didn’t have the Zappa album I wanted….so then….I found this little treasure hidden in the doom metal section. I rescued it from abandonment and solace.

I had already owned two Type O albums and my favorite had always been Bloody Kisses. The other copy I had was their first album but I had never gotten much into it. I really like Carnivore though. Hell! Carnivore is so fast and rough and spicy! And when I cranked up Life is Killing Me in the car….I just got into such a splendid mood! It had that thrashy, doomy sound I loved! Peter Steele sang of his misery….This is what I have always admired of him. He looks so rough but he is a highly sensitive man! He has such angst, such frustration and anger! I pat my chest and say, “Me too, Peter. Me too.” If you have read of Peter’s struggle, he dealt with bipolar mood swings, ongoing depression and substance addiction. He was so inurned in sadness from his internal and external hells. YOU MAKE ME HATE MYSEEEEEEEELF! Plus, this album also had those little tunes that were in the “Summer Breeze” cover. MY GOD, I love that cover so much, especially with the song that follows it, the one where they sing about setting themselves on fire. I think I…..am going to overplay this album. I’m always comparing myself to Peter. I don’t know why. Moody, frustrated, pissed, insecure and allured with gay love. He liked them lesbos and I like Tom of Finland. Ah, this man. May he rest in peace, dear. Type O will always be one of those few heavy metal bands I’ll like. How it pains me that I’ll never see them live. I would have actually had fun in one of their gigs.

All right, I’ll be off to finish my schoolwork now. Bye-bye. Long live Type O.

Oh yes! I’ll also watch the films of Chaplin and John Barrymore that I got cheaply! YES!