Why am I so terrified of them? Why can’t I spend a single night rested when they are dangling there on a corner without affrighting me? I can’t even stare at a picture of a tarantula without wanting to desperately cry out.

I had some issues with my sleep as of last night. I had seen a slender spider…with Jack Skellington legs…which attacked my eyes only with its appearance. I ran away and begged for somebody to smash it. No one really took this seriously enough or were too occupied with other affairs.

Alas, I stayed awake until possibly 4am….covering my head….thinking that the spider would descend onto my head and bite my nose or something. I kept imagining how it would inject its poison in my flesh. I couldn’t even fall asleep because the anxiety was high. I went to another room and slept there then. I just wish those blasted things wouldn’t exist.

My fear for the arachnids goes way back….even when I was living in Peru. In my apartment where I lived, there were baby Black Widows and more devils like that. I once had to go to sleep and saw the little demon hanging on his spider web. I couldn’t sleep because of such fear and decided to sleep next to my mother. I thought this fear had lessened its severity when I read Charlotte’s Web…but no…my compassion was only for pigs, as I barely eat any pork now.

Aha! I remember how this started! As a child in Peru, I used to spend my free time watching Animal Planet…and they would simulate….the way a spider injected venom into its victim. Or how a tarantula would eat a bird. Or how they copulated. Or how a baby ended up in the emergency room after encountering a Black Widow. Why the hell did I even watch that? Oh, lord no. I remember my fear for them intensified years ago when I had recently moved to America again. We had lived in this place infested with arachnids. Scorpions…Black Widows…..On the last day I lived there, I found a baby tarantula under my bed. I hope I gain the ability to at least kill a spider without cowering in fear one day.